Of course we already know Susan Boyle can sing since she’s become a youtube phenomenon.  I happened upon a site that has her first (maybe only?) cd recording that was done for a charity. Her voice has such a richness to it. Her dream is to be like Elaine Paige, I think her voice is much fuller. In my mind she’s already made it 😉

I’m waiting for her first cd to be released. I’ll be standing in line to buy it with millions of others.

(click image to go to site and hear her sing ‘Cry Me A River’.)

I started to make a post about this amazing woman, but youtube doesn’t allow it to be embedded. Then I came back and made it anyway because she so inspired me, so you’ll just have to go there to listen to her amazing voice. (click picture to go to the youtube video)

Liz Strauss ask how we make our dream visible. Susan Boyle sure made hers visible in a big way, and the song she chose was perfect. I think however that she shouldn’t need to change her physical appearance to something acceptable to anyone. She did it her way, she is who she is and I find that absolutely perfect.

Since I want this post to remain uplifting, I’ll leave my personal dreams or lack thereof out of it. Huge kudos to Susan for having the courage to go for hers! And boo to all the people who prejudged her by her appearance. That’s always been a sore point with me. Maybe because I’m just an ugly girl on the outside, but not on the inside.

I am fatigued beyond measure today. I’m long overdue for sleep but it’s not that. It’s all those little things I perceive as jabs coming from all directions. Hey, I know my perceptions are sometimes off (like most of the time) but I’d swear they are right on this last few days, and it isn’t a good feeling.  So  what do you do to get past this, when social interaction is so incredibly stressful even when you feel okay? I just want to crawl back into my deep dark hole. Wake me up in 40 years. I want to quit my group, my therapist, my brother (gee, wonder if he reads here? NOT!), Carriage House, none of them like me anyway. There’s a small possibility that is distorted thinking, but I only have actions to judge by.  There, that pretty well takes care of my sorry little life. And I left high school more years ago than I can remember so spare me the immature cliques. It’s been a long time since I thought “Oh shit, maybe I better go to the hospital so they can keep me safe” but today is one of those days. But then, I have no idea how to reach out for help so here I sit wallowing in it. Ah well, the only way to go is up, right? …RIGHT?

Beck – Loser

I got followed by this guy on Twitter from my area, Jon Swerens, so went and checked out his site.  Not only is his blog really interesting, like the post telling me how long it would take me to burn $825 billion dollars (and that answer is mind boggling), but he does digital work for  The News-Sentinel that I just love. That is what I wish I was making a living at. But better yet, he is a fantastic musician, and has a couple of free songs on his website. You must go download “River”. That man has a beautiful voice. He also has a cd for sale and I listened to those that I could. They are instrumentals. I think that River song needs to go with my River image 😉  I found him refreshing after being followed by so many marketing, PR, and yes even blogging types. I do have an interest in those things but I feel so inundated with that stuff and along comes a guy that is coming from somewhere else than that, my two real loves, music and art. He’s aiming for 100 downloads of his song and it’s worth it…well, of course it is, it’s free! lol

I think it’s pretty clear I’m not in this for making money, certainly not with this blog, so I’m not sure why I follow so many who that is the main focus for them. I am not even too sure I like that many following me given my subject matter so often. It’s one thing to put it out there knowing only a few people who know me read it. Ah well, kinda late for that worry I guess.