Sunday night I was speeding along as per usual lately at a whopping 293kb’s download speed and 333kb’s upload speed. Do you have any idea how long it takes a page to load at that speed? I sure don’t because I finally gave up on every page I tried.

That made me determined to finally follow through and attempt to get Comcast’s help again. So Monday I get ready to call them and find out I’m not online at all. For those who don’t know, the only phone I have is Skype. Obviously if my internet worked, that wouldn’t be an issue. So, I drive to the Comcast office which took some searching since I still don’t know this city very well. I tell the girl at the window my problem and she says she can’t help me but I can use the phone at the table over there and she gives me an 800 number to call. First I get the recording asking me if I have a red light on my computer screen and trying to walk me through fixing it. I finally quit talking to the recording and so it hands me over to a real person! Progress at last! She says it will be hard to help me since I’m not in front of my computer but I wrote down her instructions so I could go home and do them all over again. (like because this time it’s from a tech it will somehow miraculously work)

• Shut off computer
• unplug router
• unplug modem
• wait 30 seconds
• plug modem in, wait for all lights to light up
• plug router in, wait for all lights to light up
• turn on computer

That is such a joke. I should so be a Comcast tech because that line of instruction is clearly all they need to know. Do you have any idea HOW many times I did that the last 3 days? Knowing that I am supposed to be present and accounted for in the blogging class I’m assisting in I’m feeling rather stressed. Of course I’d be feeling stressed anyway because I use my computer for everything!

I tried reinstalling windows because I thought maybe I had messed up something whilst deleting a few programs I hadn’t used. Now here’s the cool thing; I had an illegal version of windows xp. It worked perfectly. But I wanted to be legal so I did this amnesty thing they had and bought a valid version with a serial number. They mailed me the disk. So I put that in and did a repair install. And guess what!? I couldn’t log in at all because I was not bloody online and it wanted to authenticate it before log in so there I sat at a blank wallpaper screen! Back to the illegal version so I could at least get on my own computer and see if I could configure something to make the stupid thing work.

So next stop, I go to Best Buy and attempt to buy a phone with minutes so I can bloody well call Comcast. After about 3 hours there because the guy cannot get the new virgin mobile to activate so I can actually use it, he supposedly refunds my money. I say supposedly because I now have 2 charges on my bank card for one phone. While I am waiting for him I truly have a moment of insanity and I go buy a laptop. Thinking that I now have my Windows and computer all screwed up and perhaps that’s the problem. The guy talks me into a deal where I get $100. off the computer if I sign up for Verizon fios  while I’m at it. Well, I can’t get online and I can’t get Comcast to do anything but the same old spiel, so sure.

I go home and try my trusty new computer that I know isn’t messed up and sure enough, I’ve got 100% signal from my wireless router just like I do with my other computer! However, from the router to the internet is a big red X! Big surprise. So I go back to Best Buy to try for the phone again and this time while I’m waiting, I decide to buy a new cable modem. Because Comcast kept telling me my signal was fine and okay, the router is clearly fine so what’s another $80? Argh. I finally get my phone and yay, it’s activated. I call Comcast and give them my new modem numbers, get it all plugged in. The tech says he can’t see it. He makes an appointment for someone to come Friday to look at my outside lines. I’d like to return that modem if my old one actually works but that means calling them again with the old modem numbers and if I end up offline, well, I’m already out of minutes talking to them! Argh again.

So today, I’m sitting here wondering what the heck to do with myself until Friday when they come figure this mess out. I’m thinking of sitting in a hotel parking lot with my laptop (I read that in a crime novel, that a lot of them have unsecured wireless) to see if I can get to my bank account and see exactly how bad the disaster to my finances is. I look over at my monitor and holy cow! Skype is online! So I click firefox but can’t go anywhere because it wants to authorize me but when I click that link it won’t load. Call Comcast again and get a snotty young thing who does in the end manage to get me authorized and working. There went the last of my minutes. Now the question is, was it a bad modem? I’ll never know. All I know is that Comcast’s help should work a LOT better than this.

It only cost me $53.49 for the phone and minutes, $85.59 for the modem, Which of course if they had actually ever got their butts out here to check, I could have tested it with theirs. Who knows how much in gas running all over the place getting phones, running to Comcast office. I won’t add in the laptop, even though now I’m thinking why oh why did I do that? I did it because I freaking needed to be able to get online! It’s how I shop, it’s how I bank, it’s how I keep in touch with people, it’s even how I learn and teach, it’s how I phone.

I don’t know where to send it but I’m writing Comcast a letter asking for 3 free months for the cost of getting my internet up not to mention the bloody lousy 4 previous months where it was completely unuseable much of the time. I don’t suspect that should go to the CEO since he never responded to my last letter. But I have little faith in their customer support. The only one I’ve talked to that acts like he gives a damn is Frank Eliason at Comcast cares. Mostly I think no, Comcast doesn’t care but Frank seems to. As for Verizon, should I cancel that install or not? Who knows if I’m up for good this time?