DBT is dialectical behavioral therapy. That’s a mouthful isn’t it? This therapy method was developed by Marsha M. Linehan And consists of four modules; mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation. Basically the idea is to teach us skills we didn’t learn. It is considered the most effective treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m glad someone came up with one because it wasn’t that long ago that we were considered pretty hopeless cases.

In most cases Borderline Personality Disorder is caused by childhood abuse or neglect. People with BPD are more likely to have been:

• verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by caregivers.
• having caregivers deny the validity of their thoughts and feelings.
• failure to provide needed protection.
• neglected their child’s physical care.
• parents were withdrawn from the child emotionally, and treated the child inconsistently.

I personally can vouch for the reasons behind it but I surely don’t understand that treatment of a child you bring into the world. I have 2 beautiful daughters and I couldn’t imagine treating them that way. There is no understanding the reasons that I can find and I believe that is not important anymore. I just reckon they didn’t like me much and thought that shame, scorn and criticism would somehow make me toe the line and behave like them. The image here shows where we strive to be.

And just maybe it does explain some things. Say your family are all these stoic, logical and unemotional people (reasonable mind). Then along comes a highly emotional, screaming, squalling baby that you have no idea how to handle (emotional mind).

What we are striving to learn is to apply both and end up in the wise mind state. Seems good, but part of me still thinks that I should somehow be able to be a perfectly reasonable mind. Throw those emotions out completely! Of course that’s because I was taught that my emotions were not acceptable. So yes, I am learning that it is okay to feel whatever it is I feel at any given time. This is our reminder for the Mindfulness section to learn to watch our reactions and BE mindful. We do funny little exercises; sometimes drawing, a walk, building a card house, and the point of it is to be mindful in the moment, doing just what you are doing in a nonjudgmental way. I do pretty good but I do get judgmental about my inability to write poetry when that’s the exercise 😉

We go through the lessons and have homework every week. It usually consists of a conflict with someone and recognizing your emotion, deciding what is most important in that relationship (i.e. self-respect, maintaining the relationship, etc.) and the ways of resolving it. The homework part is tough for me because I live like a recluse. Sometimes I pick some nasty time in my past and work through how I could have handled it in a better way.

Now I’ll leave you with a poem I DID write! (just to show off my mad skillz)

Strange Game

There once were these dudes from afar
who were all three tres bizarre,
They went out in full force
to the local golf course
to see if they could break par.

They were atrociously clad
in the most awful plaid;
one carried a purse,
the second was worse,
his shoes made you think egad!!

The third was a swinger,
he’d come back with a zinger
that’d turn your face red.
When I saw them I said
“Ack! Here I’ll not linger!”

So I got out, I got out fast. As fast as I could go sir!
I wasn’t scared, but pants like that I did not care for, no sir!

(last 2 lines from Dr Seuss – What was I scared of)

“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.” ~ Golda Meir