DBT is dialectical behavioral therapy. That’s a mouthful isn’t it? This therapy method was developed by Marsha M. Linehan And consists of four modules; mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation. Basically the idea is to teach us skills we didn’t learn. It is considered the most effective treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder. I’m glad someone came up with one because it wasn’t that long ago that we were considered pretty hopeless cases.

In most cases Borderline Personality Disorder is caused by childhood abuse or neglect. People with BPD are more likely to have been:

• verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused by caregivers.
• having caregivers deny the validity of their thoughts and feelings.
• failure to provide needed protection.
• neglected their child’s physical care.
• parents were withdrawn from the child emotionally, and treated the child inconsistently.

I personally can vouch for the reasons behind it but I surely don’t understand that treatment of a child you bring into the world. I have 2 beautiful daughters and I couldn’t imagine treating them that way. There is no understanding the reasons that I can find and I believe that is not important anymore. I just reckon they didn’t like me much and thought that shame, scorn and criticism would somehow make me toe the line and behave like them. The image here shows where we strive to be.

And just maybe it does explain some things. Say your family are all these stoic, logical and unemotional people (reasonable mind). Then along comes a highly emotional, screaming, squalling baby that you have no idea how to handle (emotional mind).

What we are striving to learn is to apply both and end up in the wise mind state. Seems good, but part of me still thinks that I should somehow be able to be a perfectly reasonable mind. Throw those emotions out completely! Of course that’s because I was taught that my emotions were not acceptable. So yes, I am learning that it is okay to feel whatever it is I feel at any given time. This is our reminder for the Mindfulness section to learn to watch our reactions and BE mindful. We do funny little exercises; sometimes drawing, a walk, building a card house, and the point of it is to be mindful in the moment, doing just what you are doing in a nonjudgmental way. I do pretty good but I do get judgmental about my inability to write poetry when that’s the exercise 😉

We go through the lessons and have homework every week. It usually consists of a conflict with someone and recognizing your emotion, deciding what is most important in that relationship (i.e. self-respect, maintaining the relationship, etc.) and the ways of resolving it. The homework part is tough for me because I live like a recluse. Sometimes I pick some nasty time in my past and work through how I could have handled it in a better way.

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Now I’ll leave you with a poem I DID write! (just to show off my mad skillz)

Strange Game

There once were these dudes from afar
who were all three tres bizarre,
They went out in full force
to the local golf course
to see if they could break par.

They were atrociously clad
in the most awful plaid;
one carried a purse,
the second was worse,
his shoes made you think egad!!

The third was a swinger,
he’d come back with a zinger
that’d turn your face red.
When I saw them I said
“Ack! Here I’ll not linger!”

So I got out, I got out fast. As fast as I could go sir!
I wasn’t scared, but pants like that I did not care for, no sir!

(last 2 lines from Dr Seuss – What was I scared of)

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“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don’t know how to laugh either.” ~ Golda Meir

my DBT group. Actually I guess you can’t flunk, but we are starting over again and I just found out there’s an advanced group. I’m clearly not ready for that. And practically everyone I know is gone and it’s a bunch of new people again. Heh, we’re supposed to practice the skills we’re learning. That’s a problem for a recluse. I practice on my cat :p

DSM IV

 

Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder

 

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships,
self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early
adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five
(or more) of the following:

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do
not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships
characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially
self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or
self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.

5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g.,
intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

7. chronic feelings of emptiness.

8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g.,
frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

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I’ve been diagnosed with this and personally that dx makes me REALLY angry! haha
Seriously, it’s embarrassing to be such a loser. I do seem to have pretty much all the symptoms except the anger. All my anger is directed at myself.

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What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

Marsha Linehan has developed a comprehensive sociobiological theory which appears to be borne out by the successes found in controlled studies of her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

Linehan theorizes that borderlines are born with an innate biological tendency to react more intensely to lower levels of stress than others and to take longer to recover. They peak “higher” emotionally on less provocation and take longer coming down. In addition, they were raised in environments in which their beliefs about themselves and their environment were continually devalued and invalidated. These factors combine to create adults who are uncertain of the truth of their own feelings and who are confronted by three basic dialectics they have failed to master (and thus rush frantically from pole to pole of):

* vulnerability vs invalidation

* active passivity (tendency to be passive when confronted with a problem and actively seek a rescuer) vs apparent competence (appearing to be capable when in reality internally things are falling apart)

* unremitting crises vs inhibited grief.

DBT tries to teach clients to balance these by giving them training in skills of mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation.

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Linehan has it nailed actually. I’m in a DBT group and have been for a couple of years. Whether I have the ability to actually learn and change at the age of 54 is another matter. I find my biggest obstacle to be my total lack of self-esteem. Or has my therapist likes to put it, my shame. I don’t like to even admit I feel shame. It makes me feel ashamed :p The only reason I am stable is that I’m a recluse for the most part. When there’s nothing to upset you you don’t get upset. Duh!

I also have a brain tumor and have had 2 surgeries on it but I’ll tell you, I’d take 100 brain tumors to have never had BPD. That is how much I despise this mental illness.

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“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong?’ Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.”~Charles M. Schulz